When my husband Trey and I got married almost 9 years ago, we received many gifts. In fact one of the really fun things we had the chance to do while we were engaged was to go to stores and start a wedding registry. It was the typical scenario, I walked the endless aisles of picture frames, dishes, bedding, and furniture, dreaming of what marriage would be like. My fiancé hit up the electronics and outdoors department, trying to justify registering for a big screen TV. Even with those handy registries available, we still got several gifts that we did not register for.
Upon returning home from our honeymoon, we walked into our tiny apartment and half of our living room/dining room was filled with wrapped presents for us to sift though. As we opened each one, I would mentally check off what had registered for. And then, it happened. I lifted a ceramic vase with intricate flowers protruding from the handle and sides. This guest, had obviously decided to forgo our well thought out list of requested items, and had gifted us with an "interesting" decorative piece. Ahem...
We received many things that we had asked for, and several that we didn't. Among the things that were a surprise, was a beautiful crystal cross. I proudly placed it on our bookshelf in the living room, and realized that not all surprises are bad :) Each home we have moved into, I have had the task of unpacking boxes and decorating our new place. We have moved 5 times in almost 9 years...and every time I unpack this gorgeous crystal cross, I look for just the right spot to display it. It's one of my favorite pieces.
As I look at that cross, I think about how beautiful it is. I think about what it stands for. The cross of Christ. So often, we like to picture that cross. You know, the pretty one. The one you place on your shelf, hang on your wall, display at the front of your church. It's pristine, it's wonderful, and it reminds of us of that precious grace that God offers to every person.
You know the problem with this idea? Do you want to know the truth? The cross is ugly. When you look at it closely, it's not something you would want to place prominently in your home. You know why? Because on that cross, is my sin, and your sin. And sin, is ugly. If you have ever heard the song, "How Deep the Fathers Love for Us," there is one line that says, "it was MY sin that held Him there, until it was accomplished." Wow. That's not such a pretty picture is it?
We don't like to think about that aspect of the cross. We like to look at it and see our Savior. But do we really comprehend what He saved us from? If we truly did, we would never look at the cross the same way. I remember when I was attending Bible college, and the movie "The Passion of the Christ" came out. I hadn't seen it yet, but one night I received a phone call from my brother, who had watched it in the theater that day. He told me that the most moving scene for him was when they were nailing Jesus' hands to the cross, he said "I felt like it was ME driving the nails into His hands." My dear brother, that's because it was you, and it was me too.
Sin isn't fun to talk about. It doesn't give us those warm fuzzy feelings and make us feel good about ourselves. Yet it's so easy to see sin in others, isn't it? I have 2 small children at home, who we affectionately refer to as our "little sinners." Why? Because we all have sin. It is in our very nature to do wrong. I didn't have to teach my children to lie, cheat, or disobey. As any parent can tell you, they learn that on their own very quickly.
A few years back, when my husband and I were working in student ministry, we were doing a weekend retreat with our teenagers from church. Our weekend was all about evangelism and the theme was "I Have the Cure." We were split up into teams and I was assigned the leader of one of the groups. I am just a little competitive. Lol. One task each team had to do was to come up with a skit for our theme. Ok, not to toot my own horn, but this just happened to be my area of expertise. So, I totally knew we would win. I came up with the idea for an "infomercial," (my secret is out, I'm hopelessly addicted to watching infomercials and truly feel I need every new gadget and cleaning accessory out there) for a product called "Jesus BAM." We had each student line up with a poster in front if them which listed a sin. There was gossip, cheating, lying, etc. And as each person was sprayed with the "Jesus BAM" product, their frown turned to a smile and they lowered their poster.
Ok, I know that's really cheesy. But, it makes me think. What if we all walked around carrying a sign that listed our sins? Ouch. I have a feeling we would be shocked. We would be hurt, confused, and most importantly, we would judge. Can you imagine though, if those people also got to see your sins listed? Not a pretty picture. There are things I have done, or still struggle with, that I don't want anyone else to know. When we take a good look at ourselves, you know, the kind of inner relflection that goes beyond what we see in the mirror, we will see it. Sin. It's in my heart and it's in yours too.
There was a long time when I struggled with the idea that as a Christian, I still sinned. In fact, in some cases, I longed for it. We all do that. And I struggled with this idea that God could love me in spite of how horridly wretched I was. I'm not saying I murdered anyone, or did anything punishable by law. But God's standards are different than ours. In Romans 1:28-32 there are several sins listed. I think all Christians have been guilty of some of these at some point in their lives. Christianity does not equal perfection. Paul even takes it a step further in Romans 1:32 as he talks about these sins, to say, "they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them." As I said before, we as humans, judge others' sin. Romans 2:1 states, "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things."
That one cuts us deep. The harsh reality that we are imperfect. But, there is good news! And this is the beautiful part of the cross. "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18. Jesus died for each and every person, and for each and every sin. There is absolutely nothing that was not taken care of on the cross. Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
I saw a quote by C. S. Lewis the other day that said, "The Christian does not think that God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." God's love is amazing! I can not even begin to fathom the depth of His love. I can only see it in my limited human terms. The only thing I can somewhat compare it to, is my love for my children. Callie is my oldest, and I remember the day she was born, vividly. My labor with her was fast and furious. At the last minute I decided to have an epidural, but it was too late. No turning back, I was having a baby. I have never been in so much pain in my entire life. I seriously don't know how a person can handle such physical trauma! There were moments that I did not think I would make it. But, as I held her for the first time, I thought, "You are so worth it!"
That's my totally flawed attempt to compare Christ's love for us, for you. He looks at you, no matter what you have done, and no matter how much pain it was for Him on that cross, and He says, "YOU are so worth it!" I love the lyrics of the song "Here I am to Worship," the bridge is "I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross." When we realize how great our sin is, we begin to realize how amazing grace is.
God has just laid this on my heart to share today, He continually works on me, making me more like Christ. It is a journey. But know this, the cross covers it all. My favorite line of the Chris Tomlin song "Indescribeable" is this: "You see the depths of my heart, and You love me the same, You are amazing God." That is the truth of the cross.
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