The Truth of the Cross

When my husband Trey and I got married almost 9 years ago, we received many gifts.  In fact one of the really fun things we had the chance to do while we were engaged was to go to stores and start a wedding registry. It was the typical scenario, I walked the endless  aisles of picture frames, dishes, bedding, and furniture, dreaming of what marriage would be like. My fiancé hit up the electronics and outdoors department, trying to justify registering for a big screen TV.  Even with those handy registries available, we still got several gifts that we did not register for.

Upon returning home from our honeymoon, we walked into our tiny apartment and half of our living room/dining room was filled with wrapped presents for us to sift though.  As we opened each one, I would mentally check off what had registered for. And then, it happened. I lifted a ceramic vase with intricate flowers protruding from the handle and sides. This guest, had obviously decided to forgo our well thought out list of requested items, and had gifted us with an "interesting" decorative piece.  Ahem...

We received many things that we had asked for, and several that we didn't. Among the things that were a surprise, was a beautiful crystal cross. I proudly placed it on our bookshelf in the living room, and realized that not all surprises are bad :) Each home we have moved into, I have had the task of unpacking boxes and decorating our new place. We have moved 5 times in almost 9 years...and every time I unpack this gorgeous crystal cross, I look for just the right spot to display it. It's one of my favorite pieces.

As I look at that cross, I think about how beautiful it is. I think about what it stands for. The cross of Christ. So often, we like to picture that cross. You know, the pretty one. The one you place on your shelf, hang on your wall, display at the front of your church. It's pristine, it's wonderful, and it reminds of us of that precious grace that God offers to every person.

You know the problem with this idea? Do you want to know the truth? The cross is ugly. When you look at it closely, it's not something you would want to place prominently in your home. You know why? Because on that cross, is my sin, and your sin. And sin, is ugly. If you have ever heard the song, "How Deep the Fathers Love for Us," there is one line that says, "it was MY sin that held Him there, until it was accomplished." Wow. That's not such a pretty picture is it?

We don't like to think about that aspect of the cross. We like to look at it and see our Savior. But do we really comprehend what He saved us from? If we truly did, we would never look at the cross the same way. I remember when I was attending Bible college, and the movie "The Passion of the Christ" came out. I hadn't seen it yet, but one night I received a phone call from my brother, who had watched it in the theater that day. He told me that the most moving scene for him was when they were nailing Jesus' hands to the cross, he said "I felt like it was ME driving the nails into His hands." My dear brother, that's because it was you, and it was me too.

Sin isn't fun to talk about. It doesn't give us those warm fuzzy feelings and make us feel good about ourselves. Yet it's so easy to see sin in others, isn't it? I have 2 small children at home, who we affectionately refer to as our "little sinners."  Why? Because we all have sin. It is in our very nature to do wrong. I didn't have to teach my children to lie, cheat, or disobey. As any parent can tell you, they learn that on their own very quickly.

A few years back, when my husband and I were working in student ministry, we were doing a weekend retreat with our teenagers from church. Our weekend was all about evangelism and the theme was "I Have the Cure." We were split up into teams and I was assigned the leader of one of the groups. I am just a little competitive. Lol. One task each team had to do was to come up with a skit for our theme. Ok, not to toot my own horn, but this just happened to be my area of expertise. So, I totally knew we would win. I came up with the idea for an "infomercial," (my secret is out, I'm hopelessly addicted to watching infomercials and truly feel I need every new gadget and cleaning accessory out there) for a product called "Jesus BAM." We had each student line up with a poster in front if them which listed a sin. There was gossip, cheating, lying, etc. And as each person was sprayed with the "Jesus BAM" product, their frown turned to a smile and they lowered their poster.

Ok, I know that's really cheesy. But, it makes me think. What if we all walked around carrying a sign that listed our sins?  Ouch.  I have a feeling we would be shocked.  We would be hurt, confused, and most importantly, we would judge.  Can you imagine though, if those people also got to see your sins listed?  Not a pretty picture.  There are things I have done, or still struggle with, that I don't want anyone else to know.  When we take a good look at ourselves, you know, the kind of inner relflection that goes beyond what we see in the mirror, we will see it.  Sin.  It's in my heart and it's in yours too. 

There was a long time when I struggled with the idea that as a Christian, I still sinned.  In fact, in some cases, I longed for it.  We all do that.  And I struggled with this idea that God could love me in spite of how horridly wretched I was.  I'm not saying I murdered anyone, or did anything punishable by law.  But God's standards are different than ours.  In Romans 1:28-32 there are several sins listed.  I think all Christians have been guilty of some of these at some point in their lives.  Christianity does not equal perfection.  Paul even takes it a step further in Romans 1:32 as he talks about these sins, to say, "they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them."  As I said before, we as humans, judge others' sin.  Romans 2:1 states, "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges.  For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things."

That one cuts us deep.  The harsh reality that we are imperfect.  But, there is good news!  And this is the beautiful part of the cross.  "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18.  Jesus died for each and every person, and for each and every sin.  There is absolutely nothing that was not taken care of on the cross.  Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 

I saw a quote by C. S. Lewis the other day that said, "The Christian does not think that God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us."  God's love is amazing!  I can not even begin to fathom the depth of His love.  I can only see it in my limited human terms.  The only thing I can somewhat compare it to, is my love for my children.  Callie is my oldest, and I remember the day she was born, vividly.  My labor with her was fast and furious.  At the last minute I decided to have an epidural, but it was too late.  No turning back, I was having a baby.  I have never been in so much pain in my entire life.  I seriously don't know how a person can handle such physical trauma!  There were moments that I did not think I would make it.  But, as I held her for the first time, I thought, "You are so worth it!" 

That's my totally flawed attempt to compare Christ's love for us, for you.  He looks at you, no matter what you have done, and no matter how much pain it was for Him on that cross, and He says, "YOU are so worth it!"  I love the lyrics of the song "Here I am to Worship," the bridge is "I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross."  When we realize how great our sin is, we begin to realize how amazing grace is.

God has just laid this on my heart to share today, He continually works on me, making me more like Christ.  It is a journey.  But know this, the cross covers it all.  My favorite line of the Chris Tomlin song "Indescribeable" is this: "You see the depths of my heart, and You love me the same, You are amazing God."  That is the truth of the cross.

A New Year and Resolutions...

What is it about a new year that makes us think things will be different? For some reason, the end of one year and the start of another makes us think that we will magically be transformed in some way. Every new year comes with the infamous "resolutions" to work out, diet, focus more on family, and the list goes on. Why do we think we will suddenly become more disciplined and form new habits just by a change in the year?

I guess with each new year comes the idea of a clean slate or a fresh start. I know I have been guilty of making some of these popular "resolutions" in past years. Usually, I can do really well at keeping them for about 4 days, a week if I'm lucky. As we were eating our way through the Christmas holiday, family members talked about how "after the holidays the diet would be starting." Even I was thinking, "sure, after Christmas I'm going to start working out and eat better."

You know what the problem is with resolutions such as these? They all require a change in HABIT. Habit is defined as: a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. There ya go. A habit is settled. It is regular. And it is HARD TO GIVE UP.

If we are in the habit of not excercising and not eating healthy, do we really believe that a new year is the answer to changing this? In my experience, habits are hard to break. Fortunately not all habits are bad, and some are definetly WORTH trying to change.

My only resolution for the new year is this: to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5. Each new year I try to discipline myself to become more consistent with my quiet times, to spend more time in prayer, to evangelize, and to serve the Lord more. Admitedly, there are some years that I do better at this than others. I have journals from past years that I wrote down prayers everyday. It's amazing to go back and see the way God has worked in my life. The problem is, that sometimes the gaps in between entries is days, weeks, or months.

The reason that this resolution is one worthy of the effort it takes, is because it's the only one that lasts. God's Word is eternal. The time invested in it, and allowing it to change my life is worth more than anything this world has to offer.

The world focuses on things that will not last. As I flipped through the January issue of "InStyle" there were dozens of articles on beauty, fashion, and diet resolutions for the new year. Now don't get me wrong, there is some importance to eating healthy and taking care of your body. After all, 1 Corinthians 6:19 says "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?" We should be taking care of our bodies as our "temple." And concerning fashion, the "ideal woman" described in Proverbs 31:22b says, "she is clothed in fine linen and purple." I'm not saying that we shouldn't make taking care of ourselves a priority. Just so long as it isn't our main focus.

Instead, we ought to be focused on God. His Word gives us a timely message in Matthew 6:25-33:

"25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

God is our foundation on which everything else is laid. We cannot expect there to be a significant change in our lives if we are not willing to place God first. I would encourage you to join me in choosing to change your habit this new year. After all, being in love with the Lord and abiding in Him is a good habit to start.

Favorite Beauty Items

As a mom I so often find myself not taking anytime for "me." There are many days that I end up wearing sweats, no make-up, and my hair in a pontytail. Ok, being honest here, MOST days are like that. It is actually a rare occasion that I wear any make-up, fix my mess of hair, and wear anything without an elasticized waist!

There are a few staples in my "beauty" regimen that I thought I would pass along. Most of them are items that can speed up the process of getting ready, or just really good products that make me happy!



First off, let me say that for years I have tried numerous face cleansers. I have used those for acne, dry skin, exfoliating, etc. I almost always had the same problem with each one...my make-up would not come off unless I washed my face multiple times. And then I usually had to follow up with eye-makeup remover. Until I found this product! This cleanser has a make-up remover built in, and I can say that it takes off ALL make-up, even the eye junk in just one wash. What a time saver, plus it's less than $5 at Wal-Mart!




I have REALLY, REALLY thick, long, wavy/curly hair. I have broken dozens of combs while trying to manage this crazy mess of hair. This Paul Mitchell line of hair products does wonders for thick/wavy hair! It's pricey, so I don't always have the extra cash to buy it. But, it makes a huge difference in shortening my blow-drying time. I highly recommend the Super Skinny Serum.



This is the absolute best face moisturizer I have found. I have tried several brands, both expensive and cheap. I always come back to this one because it really works! I usually buy the lotion in the fall/winter since my skin is drier then. During the summer the gel is great.



I really have never fallen in love with a lipstick. They are usually so drying and don't last. I have tried lip stains and glosses, but they are too dry or too sticky. I tried these gloss balms last month and was pleasantly surprised. It's just enough color, and the consistency is great. It has the feeling of a balm, but not the stickiness of a gloss. I plan to buy one in almost every color!



I have mentioned before that I am OCD about cleanliness. And I wash my hands. A LOT. Not to mention I have two kiddos, so I am constantly changing diapers, cleaning up messes. And I use hand sanitizer religiously. So, I need a REALLY good hand lotion. This hand cream is the BEST. I have tried every one out there that claims to be for "extremely dry skin." Hands down (no pun intended), nothing comes close to this lotion! I use it every night and it keeps my hands from getting extra dry.


What are some of your favorite beauty items?

Cookie Bars

I came across this recipe last year at Christmas. I was checking out the Eagle Brand recipe website, and this looked really good and simple! The offical name is not "cookie bars," but that's what we now call them. They are SO good, and very easy to make. Enjoy!



Ingredients:

* No-Stick Cooking Spray
* 4 cups graham cracker crumbs (it's usually about one and a half packs out of a box)
* 2 (14 oz.) cans Eagle Brand® Sweetened Condensed Milk (or store brand works too)
* 3 1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
* 1/4 cup butter, melted
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

* HEAT oven to 350°F. Spray a 13 x 9-inch baking pan with no-stick cooking spray.
* COMBINE graham cracker crumbs, sweetened condensed milk, chocolate chips, butter
and vanilla in large bowl. Mix until blended. Spread evenly in prepared pan.
* BAKE 25 to 30 minutes. Cool. Cut into bars.

I accidentally picked up mini-chocolate chips this time. But, they still turned out great!

School Days...

Callie has done a good job learning to cut with scissors!




So, I have found out that Callie has quite the little personality and sense of humor. I never know what's going to come out of her mouth! This particular day of school she had her "Phineas" and "Perry" stuffed friends next to her while she was doing schoolwork. She then told me, "I have Phineas and Perry with me today. But not Ferb. He was in a mood."

LOL! Like I said, never a dull moment...

Your Story

Your story began in September 2005, when I took that first pregnancy test...and it came back postiive. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I fell in love with you. I loved you in a way I didn't know was possible.

After 3 months of morning sickness, exhaustion, and anticipation, we went to our first doctor's appointment. I was a little worried when they couldn't immediately find your heartbeat, and was scheduled to have an ultrasound the next week. That week was the longest week of my life.

I remember the ultrasound tech checking the image on the screen. It was the first time I saw the tiny life that was growing inside me. However, the technician didn't smile or talk. She informed me that she wanted the doctor to come in and check things. It was then that I heard the words that have forever changed my life... "There's no heartbeat."

It's been six years, and yet I still remember every detail of the room, the doctor's words, and the emotions I was feeling. I remember the loss I felt instantly. Such a strange feeling to know the baby you're carrying is no longer alive. November 11, 2005 is a day I will never forget. That's the day you went to heaven.

There are so many things I would like to say to you. There are so many things I wish that we could do together. And one day, we will. But for now, this is my letter to you.


My precious baby,

I know you probably aren't a baby anymore, in your heavenly home. But to me, you will always be "my baby." I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you, I was thrilled! And even through the months of morning sickness that followed, I told you every day, "Mommy loves you!"

I want you to know that your brief life meant so much to me, brought me so much joy. I never had to discipline or correct you. I never had to remind you to pick up your toys. I never had to separate you from fighting with your sisters. But, I want you to know that I wish I'd had the chance to. I only had a short time with you, and you only got the best parts of me.

I think about you often. Sometimes in the little things...I wonder what your personality is like. What would've been your favorite color, movie, toy? What would've been your first word? There are times I look in the backseat of the car, see your two sisters, and still think, "one is missing." YOU are missing.

I think about you in the big things too. Like the holidays. Would you have loved Christmas as much as I do, excited to get out the decorations and celebrate? This year we took a family vacation to Disney World. It was so much fun! I wish that we could've taken you too.

I think most of all, I wonder what you look like. I didn't get to look into your precious face. Or count your fingers and toes. I don't know what color hair you have, or what color your eyes are. Both of your sisters have blue eyes like me. And I can't help but imagine that you do too. When I picture you, that's what I see...your blue eyes.

I love you so much, and I always will. You forever have a place in my heart. One day, I will see your precious face and I know that it will be even better than I can imagine!

Love,

Mommy


"How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint you footsteps have left upon our hearts."
-- Dorothy Ferguson


"What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us."
--Helen Keller

Learning Letters

We have been using this Pre-K curriculum for almost a month now, and I can't say enough good things about it! We ordered it from Erica at Confessions of a Homeschooler and so far it has been great! It comes with lessons plans, printables, and lots of creative ideas! I would definetly recommend it to other homeschoolers who are looking for something that is both high quality and affordable!!

Anyway, Callie has been working on uppercase and lowercase letters. A few activities with the curriculum I have changed to suit our needs. Here are some pics of Callie practicing letter tracing and letter recognition.






And, during schooltime Ashtyn loves to be invovled as well...