Unfading Beauty

Teeth Whitening, Spray Tans, Fake Nails, Mega Hair, it's all part of a pageant...for toddlers?

I recently watched an episode of "Toddlers and Tiaras" on TLC. I have to admit, that I was pretty amused by the ridiculous mothers on the show. However, my amusement quickly turned to pity for these little girls (children) that are being taught that their worth is measured by their outer beauty and talent.

Being a girl isn't easy. From an early age we are bombarded with the message that "beauty is everything." We all want to be princesses, becuase of course princesses always look pretty. As we get older we want to have the latest fashions, the most enviable hair style, and a body that is a "perfect ten." Everything in our culture emphasizes that looks are important. From TV, to magazines, to movies, to the internet, it all says the same thing. I'll refer back to one of those mothers from "Toddlers and Tiaras" that stated very matter-of-fact, "the pretty kids are the popular kids, the one everyone wants to be friends with."

Even as Christian women, we fall into this trap. I very painfully went through the "ugly duckling" stage in middle school and early high school. I felt like I was inadqaute in many ways. I was "too skinny", "too pale", and "had poor fashion sense." I subscribed to the latest teen magazines and would put myself through the torture every month of disecting every "imperfect" part of my outward appearance. It doesn't help when you have friends or family members that, although not trying to hurt you, point out these insecurities. Top that off with being friends with the girl that "every guy wants to date," and it's enough to make anyone feel like a total loser.

Then it happened...kind of like it does in the movies. When the girl that is awkward and frumpy suddenly becomes attractive and interesting. As I came out of the "ugly duckling" stage, I felt like I had finally made it. I mean, I was no supermodel, but I felt like at last I met the world's standard of "beauty." I suddenly had the attention of boys that I had so desperately longed for. But, I still had insecurities. I felt more pressure to keep up. I had to look "perfect" at all times.

It wasn't until I went away to Bible college that I learned something different. Something that is in stark contrast to what the world teaches. I learned about inward beauty. I feel like I truly came into my own as I spent more time perfecting my "inner self" rather than my outer appearance. Just as Moses' appearance was changed after spending time with God on Mount Sinai, "he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord" Exodus 34:29, the more time I spent reading my Bible, praying, and worshiping God, I feel the more "radiant" I became.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I think I'm beautiful. At least, not by the world's standard. 1 Peter 3:3-4 states, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

I have learned that my TRUE worth comes from who I am in Jesus Christ. And it is important for me to remember this, and share it with other girls. It is important because I have two girls of my own. Two little girls who want to be princesses. I have to be very conscious about the way I praise them. I find myself often telling my oldest girl, "you're so pretty." While this is true, I have to be careful that I emphasize true character qualities, and not just physical beauty. I have to be intentional about praising her for telling the truth, serving others, and memorizing Scripture.

I hope that I can be the louder voice in my daughters' ears. I can't completely shelter them from the world's standards. But I can however teach them something different. I can teach them that their worth is not found in worldly things or by the way they look. I can teach them to value themselves based on God's Word.

If there is one thing I have learned since having children, it is that outward beauty certainly doesn't last. Having a child changes your body, and raising children certainly influences your outward appearance. Most days I am lucky to get some make-up on, and am very fond of comfortable clothes over the latest fashions. And while I feel it's important to take care of yourself and not be a slob, that's not where I find my value.

Proverbs 31:30 says it best, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."